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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309793">5 times Mozzie broke into Diana's place + 1 time she returned the favor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanarie/pseuds/beanarie'>beanarie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>White Collar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 Times, Families of Choice, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, affectionate power struggles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27309793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanarie/pseuds/beanarie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I have a gun and a badge that says I am justified in using it to defend myself. One of these days I am going to shoot you."</p><p>"You keep saying that, and yet here I am, sans bullet holes."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diana Berrigan &amp; Mozzie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>5 times Mozzie broke into Diana's place + 1 time she returned the favor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>1. This rando family unit was my favorite part of season five. I am shocked that this premise is not already on here.<br/>2. It struck my ficcing brain as interesting that Mozzie decided to start using his real name right after Diana announced she was leaving New York.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1.</p><p>"Lady Suit," greets her intruder.</p><p>After a long, pointed moment, she takes her hand off her holster. "Mozzie, what in the hell are you doing in my kitchen?"</p><p>"I have prepared a repast!" he announces, nodding down at a pot of something bubbling and aromatic that looks like butter chicken. There are dark circles under his eyes and he looks slightly green around the gills, but all in all he seems mostly returned to status quo from eight days ago, before his near-fatal poisoning.</p><p>"Where's my child?"</p><p>"Teddy-"</p><p>She rolls her eyes. "Theo. We keep telling you, it's Theo."</p><p>He wrinkles his nose for a moment, irked. "He's napping. Now would you have a seat? I have it on good authority that no one on your team has eaten dinner."</p><p>After checking in on the baby, she sits at the table, curious in spite of herself. "What if I had a food allergy?" she says.</p><p>"Do you?" he challenges.</p><p>She lifts one corner of her mouth, then takes a bite and has to smack the table to keep from moaning out loud. It is butter chicken. And it's some of the best she's ever tasted. As he fixes himself a plate, she narrows her eyes. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?"</p><p>"Could it be," he asks, settling down on the far side of the table, "you've already done something, and I wanted to show appreciation?"</p><p>Yeah, fine, she did drop everything to hunt down the source of the poison he'd been dosed with, but she never expected favors. "I didn't do it for appreciation," she says, avoiding eye contact. She did it because the thought of a world without him made her kind of, unexpectedly, sad.</p><p>"I know," he mutters, smiling a little, very deliberately not at her. "Mangia already. It's getting cold."</p><p>2.</p><p>One glance at her watch has her rotating the tightness out of her shoulders. Almost time for Jon Stewart. She's annoyed with herself for still being at the office this late, but this case with cyber crimes involves too many moving parts and she needs to hammer some more of them down before she feels comfortable letting go for the night. </p><p>Her partners on the seventh floor probably went home hours ago. She could call first to make sure, but even if all she accomplishes is five minutes away from her desk, the trip won't have been wasted.</p><p>As she suspected, everyone downstairs is gone. Cyber crimes is deserted. Well, mostly.</p><p>Letting out a squeak, the janitor shoves a rolling trash-can in front of himself, but not quickly enough to disguise the unmistakable silhouette.</p><p>"Mozzie, goddammit."</p><p>"There is nothing wrong with the noble practice of moonlighting," he says, sticking his nose in the air. "Frankly, Lady Suit, I'm ashamed of you for sitting in judgement over the downtrodden."</p><p>"Get off the cross. And stop acting like I can't see what's going on here."</p><p>"A working man trying to eke out a meager living under this oppressive, neoliberal, captain of industry-fellating administration, that is what's going on."</p><p>She crosses her arms. "The working man needs to hand over any flash drives, memory cards, or documents he just acquired before he ends up cuffed to a radiator in a condemned warehouse right before the wrecking ball goes through."</p><p>Mindful of the security cameras, he conceals his movements as best he can, making it look like he's passing her a tissue. </p><p>"Is that all?" she asks. He just purses his lips together. "You know you can ask me if it's important, like life or death important." His eyebrows rise above the rims of his glasses and she lifts a hand. "I refuse to guarantee that I will break the law for you. What I can guarantee, however, is the next time I catch you attempting a federal crime, I will not keep it to myself."</p><p>He stands there with his wheeled garbage can, awaiting further instruction. </p><p>"Finish emptying the trash and get out of here." She sits at Agent McCall's desk and shoves her fingers deep into her temples with a sigh.</p><p>"I knew you liked me."</p><p>"One more word and I swear to God you will be walking home with a broken foot."</p><p>3.</p><p>Theo's customary 2:00 AM wails cut off unnaturally just as she's pulling herself out of bed. A lump forms in her throat. She thought he'd stay away tonight of all nights, yet she isn't surprised he came.</p><p>Mozzie is sitting in the rocking chair with the sleepily squirming baby. Theo's fussing doesn't stop, but to her his cries seem less sharp, like he knows he's safe and his needs will be met.</p><p>"I'll go put a bottle together," she says. "Do you want to...?"</p><p>Mozzie nods.</p><p>She stands in the doorway watching as Mozzie feeds Theo with practiced hands she'll never ask about. "I don't have much in the way of wine," she says regretfully. A month ago, she had some friends over for a night of board games and grown-up mac and cheese and never got the chance to replenish her supply. "Coffee? Have you eaten anything?"</p><p>He shakes his head, cradling the back of Theo's neck with one hand. "I'll just stay here until he goes to sleep, if that's okay."</p><p>"Of course, Moz. Just make sure you turn the monitor on before you go."</p><p>The soft "Thank you, Diana" follows her out of the nursery. </p><p>Dropping heavily on the edge of her bed, she blinks back a mist of tears and texts Elizabeth, who replies instantly. Diana isn't surprised. No one's getting any sleep tonight. Sleeping would mean waking up tomorrow and remembering what happened.</p><p>
  <i>Oh thank God. He hasn't been answering at any of his numbers. I was so worried he was out doing something stupid.</i>
</p><p>4.</p><p>Carlson got away. Five weeks of prep work, all for nothing because he got spooked and now, that Madoff wannabe is in the wind.</p><p>Sometimes her job can get in the fucking sea.</p><p>A familiar voice drifts out as she opens the front door, and she freezes in that position for a full count of thirty before entering. Maybe it'll be more butter chicken.</p><p>Mozzie is lecturing to an audience of one from the den, having paid off the sitter, again, because that's how things are going today. He seems to be talking about the military using action films as recruitment propaganda while Theo builds a wonky tower out of alphabet blocks. To be fair, she can't deny that Top Gun made her want to fly fighter jets, wear cool sunglasses, and make out with Kelly McGillis.</p><p>"Hmph," she says, not really capable of much more, and makes her way to the closet. The moment she has shrugged out of her coat, a glass of red appears in her hand. </p><p>There was no red wine in her house, but she sips and doesn't complain. As the space increases in the glass and she sinks into the couch, she watches Mozzie bundle the baby and all necessary accoutrements out the door. Just before they leave, he lets her kiss Theo, then waves vaguely eastward indicating the park with the baby swings he likes so much. Knowing this should concern her more than the zero amount it actually does, she responds with a wave of her own signifying her permission in addition to a mild threat the likes of which he's more than used to from her. </p><p>+1</p><p>The thing about knowing Mozzie is, he defines himself by being cagey. Almost every interaction is on his terms and his terms only. He refuses to keep to any kind of predictable schedule, including sleeping in the same bed more than one night in a row. </p><p>Not knowing the location of very many of his bolt-holes, or when he is more likely to use one over another, Diana assumed she would have to try at least three places before seeing his shiny bald head enter the building. But somehow she got it in one. Peter always says she's got a trustworthy gut.</p><p>Elizabeth told her about this place once. It looks like a flophouse from the outside--and much of the inside--but the apartment in his alias's name is nicer than most upscale hotel suites.</p><p>He doesn't look terribly shocked to find her sitting on his frighteningly comfortable chaise and Theo making patterns in the lush carpet with his hands.</p><p>"Boo," she says.</p><p>Theo toddles his way over, laughing. Lifting the baby, Mozzie looks at her searchingly before spinning off in another direction. "So this is farewell. Bon voyage and all that. Where to then? DC, I suppose?"</p><p>"Good guess."</p><p>"They have the highest rate of surveillance cameras per capita, as I'm certain you are aware."</p><p>"Not much I can do about that, but you are always welcome, Teddy. Especially if you text first."</p><p>"Teddy," he says.</p><p>"It's a good name." She points her chin at the baby. "Just not his."</p><p>"Hm," he says, as Theo steals the  glasses right off his face. "It's a thought."</p><p>The first time she stops to stretch her legs on the drive to DC, she presses pause on her struggles to get a yogurt and fruit parfait into her son and checks her phone to see a text from Peter.</p><p>
  <i>Moz has gone to ground. Not sure when he'll resurface.</i>
</p><p>She squishes Theo's chubby cheeks, reflecting his unhappy frown right back at him. "Guess our new home won't be getting invaded any time soon, little man." It feels like a loss. She doesn't bother denying it.</p><p>5.</p><p>Floaty, comforting darkness comes to an abrupt end with a bright burst of pain on the right side of her forehead. Diana swears muzzily and blinks up at the light, struggling to get her bearings. "Wh-what. What the fuck." Her hand feels so heavy. And thick. What is that?</p><p>"Shhhh." A pair of hands closes around the white cast and guides it down to her side. "Compounding a concussion is not the wisest of plays here. Have a drink and relax about it."</p><p>Maneuvering her lips around the straw that appeared in front of her face, she soon learns Teddy was right. A little water makes her feel more human, just enough to recall the bone deep fear that suffused her entire being the last time she was conscious. "Theo!"</p><p>"With Pater and Mater, both of whom are far nicer than you." He furrows his brow, gesturing. "Which begs the question, who made you into <i>this</i>?"</p><p>"Mm." Slowly she shifts around in the bed, taking stock. Her head feels like someone blew it up like a balloon and her right arm is encased to the elbow, but that seems to be it. Her ribs and other limbs seem intact. "Shut up."</p><p>He favors her with a distinctly unimpressed glance. "I'd ask if you're familiar with the concept of self preservation, but I'm told the worst of your injuries occurred beating the life out of the perp who came into your house with the express intention of harming you and the baby."</p><p>"What's worst," she asks. </p><p>"You broke, like, all the bones in your hand." Oh. "In case you were wondering, his concussion? Much more severe than yours. And he has a few more charges to pile atop the ones you already had him on."</p><p>Good. She takes another pull from the straw, absorbing the beeps and crackling PA announcements coming from the hallway. </p><p>"I will be upgrading your security system. Don't worry."</p><p>She snorts. "Who asked you?"</p><p>"If family waited to be asked, they would not be family." </p><p>There's not really anything she can say to that except, "Theo really missed you." Only Theo.</p><p>"And I him," Teddy says, eyes crinkling. Taking the water away, he pats her shoulder. "Go back to sleep, Diana. Unless you'd like me to take the opportunity of you being on opioids to ask questions you aren't permitted to answer."</p><p>"Tell me a story," she says, settling back against the pillows. "C'mon, I'm in no condition to do anything if you incriminate yourself. I have a head injury. I probably won't remember any of this tomorrow."</p><p>After a moment's consideration, he scoots around to adjust the position of his chair. "Right. Well. Have you ever been to Jakarta?"</p><p>"Yup."</p><p>"Figured as much. The alleged events of this tale take place in a setting very much like that."</p><p>"Bangkok," she says.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Baghdad."</p><p>"<i>No</i>."</p><p>"Kolkata."</p><p>A stern finger pokes the air in her direction. "You're very annoying when you're on drugs. Remind me never to take you to a rave." He spreads his hands, awaiting permission. "May I get on with the story, or would you prefer to waste this episode of consciousness away naming cities of similar size and demographic makeup?"</p><p>She makes a big show of locking her lip and throwing away the key. Very gravely he nods once, twice, and then he dives in.</p>
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